Wednesday, 12 June 2013

Missing my flee biting fur baby. . .

I never usually blog about the sad things that happen in my life. I like to bottle things up until they find a way to leak out slowly almost unnoticed.  There is enough sadness around without me adding my bit and I like to try and stay in my happy bubble. I like to give the impression that I'm OK. 
So here comes the sad bit and the tears.  Our dog Toby went to doggie heaven on the 31st May.  He'd been ill for awhile, kidney problems.  He was only 11, a spaniel crossed with a red setter.  He looked like a red setter that had been put through the wash.  Smallish and redish, very cute and very bouncy.  We had lots of names for him - Tob, Bob, The Tobster, The Bobster, The Boy and they go on :)
He grew up with my girls. He was always with them. In the summer he'd plonk himself in the hammock with the girls and their friends. If he could have climbed ladders he would have been up in the tree house, he just had to wait below.  He let the girls dress him up in t-shirts and scarves and hats.  When they were at school he followed me around. He was stuck to me.
He had lots of faults too.  He could open doors, not to good in the winter when no one noticed and all the heat went outside with him.  He taught my parents dogs to open doors too. He raided the bin every chance he got. He'd get on the beds and sofa when we were out without him. He was naughty in so many ways but very very loveable.  
I'm so sad he's gone and I just can't stop crying every time I think about him or someone says is that your dog in the drawing. I burst into tears...not very good at school. 
I think the problem is, I couldn't save him! 11 is not old for a dog and he was a mutt, they are supposed to live forever and never get sick.  He was a pain in the bum most of the time but he was there, wagging his tail, no matter what and he made things better.  AND I've lost all the photos I had of him and the girls when they were all little.  
I'm hoping that blogging about Toby will help me stop crying. (It's not working so far).

On a much brighter note, I finished the rosebud fairy in my journal, she turned out much better than I thought she would (my roses still need work) and I've been working hard on more bug girls and trying to finish a painting that I started nearly a year ago.

Fun and Nonsense is a bit sad but will be back to my happy bouncy self soon... x


Manon Visser said...

Oh no big hug for you! I know how much that can hurt just let it all out it is the best way😂. Love from me to you xxx

lilipopo said...

Oh that's so sad, I always tell the children that memories are better than photographs so I hope your memories of him and the girls help. Hugs xx

Valerie-Jael said...

Sending you big hugs! I know how hard it is when a loved pet and companion dies, it's a hard time. Think of the happy memories, and hope you soon feel better! Valerie

Netty said...

sending big hugs and am so sorry to hear about your beloved Toby. Catherine.
Loving your fabulous page with the gorgeous rose fairy. Take care of yourself. Hugs Annette x

Melanie said...

Sorry to hear about your big lose of Toby. It's always very sad to lose a familymember.( i think our pets are familymemebers) it's oke to cry, it wil get better when you can give it a place in your heart and mind. ( it's hard to bring up the right words in englisch)
The page you draw is very pretty, maybe you can make a drawing of Toby
Liefs, Melanie

ann @ studiohyde said...

So sorry that you have lost Toby, we know too well what this is like over the years of having dogs. Sending hugs.

Melody said...

So sorry about your Toby... I totally understand wanting to appear o.k. at all times... and not wanting anyone to say anything comforting about dogs, so you don't spray tears across them. I think that losing a beloved pet (even the pains in the bum ones) is worse than loosing a human on some level. Probably because they don't speak the same language as us.... We keep a little piece of them safe in that smooshy place in our hearts forever. You can draw him, once the crying subsides... and it will ~ eventually. sending (((((hugs)))))).