Wednesday, 11 January 2012

I wonder and day dream. . .


I've set myself a huge challenge for this year. It is to stop doubting my abilities... The little voice in my head is a megaphone, years of being told by teachers that I was thick "Don't bother, you don't get it, you can't do it". Dyslexia in those days = stupid! My spelling used to be atrocious. Going to bed every night and memorising  pages of my Little Oxford Dictionary helped....ask me any word now and I can pretty much tell you the meaning and my spelling isn't bad either. Maths...well...there is still the big panic....huge blank...like a computer that just freezes....then you have to reboot....mental arithmetic, it's mental!.....I've accepted the handicap...and it is a handicap in everyday life...and it makes me feel stupid. Heyho....one of life's little bumps..
I need to stop doubting myself so I can write and illustrate a children's book.....I have stories floating round my head....illustrations fluttering onto my pages....putting it all together, just out of reach. Till now... I have the story, beginning, middle and end.... I'm sure the middle and end will change but the skeleton is there. I have the characters.... I just need to put it all together....the hard graft. I know I can do it. 
The icing on the cake will be getting it published....if that doesn't happen. I will of course be really disappointed BUT...I will survive and I WILL try again.  At least I will be able to say "I tried." The fun is doing it and saying "I've done it."    Fingers crossed.... xxx






25 comments:

TinyRed said...

Hi Catherine,

Go for it, I'll look forward to seeing your book and hope you can break through and get published!

Irene

Sandra van Doorn said...

Oh Catherine it will so happe! have you heard of “the artist way” by Julia Cameron?
it’s a great book to help remove artist’s block, and stopping our self sabotage!
xo sandra

MarieElizabeth said...

You definitely must do a children's book! I have nieces that would love it.

Clare said...

Your art is amazing and you must go for it - try and let all those other peoples belief go and embrace who you are. For years I also thought I was dumb because I couldn't spell - but now we have word check, so who really cares. I've even been an English teacher - lol. You can do anything you put your mind to - anything.

B @ Sweet Limes said...

What wonderful goals for the year Catherine! The self doubt will be harder then the book I think but I'm excited to see you publish a book (it WILL happen) and to start to soar with more self confidence and belief. You can do this and it's going to be an amazing year for you because of it. :)

Heather said...

I love this positive attitude - NEVER EVER give up on your dreams!
When you believe....things come to you!
I will be following your journey with you - Can't wait to hold your first book in my hands!
xo

LuLu said...

Oh You can do it! You really have a talent your art has so much expression! I have a 20 year old daughter that was told she could never do anything because of her Dyslexia and that is just phooey!! Do it!! Be positive and it will happen :D

BlackPumpkin said...

Go for it, dear! you can do it!!! :))

Catherine... said...

Hi Irene, thank you for popping by, it's really appreciated... :)

Catherine... said...

Hi Sandra, thank you for the tip...I will look for it. Thank you for your support...means alot. :)

Catherine... said...

Hi Clare, thank you so much for your support. I became a secretary when I left school...before the invention of computers and wordperfect. Thank goodness for tipex and photocopiers...they came along just in time.

Catherine... said...

B, your a sweetheart. Thank you so much for your support over the last year. I'm ready to leap off the cliff...:)

Catherine... said...

Hi Heather, thank you for your support these last few months. You are a gem. Fingers crossed that the journey will be smooth and fruitful.... :)

Catherine... said...

Thank you Lulu. Some of history's most famous people were dyslexic... Leonardo de Vinci for one and he was a genius...The biggest problem is the stigma...hopefully, like most things, talking about it makes people understand...I like to think that dyslexics take the scenic route and smell the flowers on the way.... :)

Catherine... said...

Hi BlackPumpkin...love your name...thank you for your support... I will do my best :)

Unusual Girl Studios said...

Hey Catherine,
I have no doubts about you at all. Your intelligence shows in your wit and your talent- well that's all over your blog! Math? Whew! I used to break a sweat at the thought of it! Thank goodness my children's teachers are making sure my girls understand the basics before passing them along! Teaching has come a long way since we were kids!

Jehanne's doodles said...

I have no doubt in my mind that you can do it and will do it! You are smart, witty and intelligent. Your drawings are charmingly whimsical and for spelling and typos and the pesky backward and misplaced words... that why there are editors and proofreaders (aka friends)♥

Catherine... said...

Hi Jehanne, thank you so much, your a gem, really appreciate your support. This new reply on blogger...do you have to check back here or does it go to your inbox? If you have to check back here I don't see the point of it. Let me know... :)

Catherine... said...

Hi Chris, thank you for your support.. Thank goodness teachers on the whole are more human and Dyslexia is no longer the terrible affliction it used to be. My girls are great at maths, which I'm so grateful for... love how Amy turned out...

Blissful Pumpkin said...

Dear Catherine,
I agree wholeheartedly with Jehanne (above).
'Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.' ~Les Brown

Kyles xo

Catherine... said...

Thanks Kyles..what a beautiful quote...:)

Cowgirl Red said...

Cat, YOU CAN DO IT!!!! Talk to yourself the way you talk to me. With love and encouragement. xoxo Terah

Catherine... said...

Your a gem Terah...thank you xx

Juliette Crane said...

so fun! i can't wait to see more and more of your illustrations and story! congratulations! xo, juliette

Catherine... said...

Thank you Juliette...